How do you deal with someone who lies to you
How to deal with someone who lies to you
There are many of us who have been lied to by many people, as when you catch someone in a lie it becomes painful, then you feel that several feelings begin to appear inside you, including anger, shock, resentment, disappointment and sadness, then you see that you have been insulted and may go further From that to say that you feel violated, and it is a violation of your trust, as the practical and emotional justice that has accumulated between you and the perpetrator is of no value. When the person falls into that matter, he asks several questions that are difficult to answer, and the answers will differ from person to person.
But you have to realize that your friends and even your co-workers can lie to you, which is a hard fact to accept, but the real challenge lies in how you respond once you catch someone in the act, and although most people lie a lot, approximately two to three times In a ten-minute conversation, studies show, you can't tell they're lying as much as you think. Researchers from the University of California analyzed the results of 253 studies and found that we only caught half of the lies we were told (53% to be exact).
And when you catch someone lying to you, you have a disturbing feeling that you are being lied to, but you are not sure and do not want to appear as paranoid or accusatory, and at that time you wonder in your mind several questions, including, What do you do with lying? If you think someone is lying to you, would you call them out? Do you tell someone else? Or are you just going along with each other, but there are really many things you can do, and the right choice or combination depends on the situation.
But when meeting a situation like this you must first make sure you understand the rules before you decide which course of action to take, as if you are going to call out someone you need to know what you are getting yourself into, know how serious the consequences of lying are, and make sure you follow proper protocol To treat it, otherwise it may backfire on you, and you must follow several steps, namely:
- Do nothing and remain silent
No one likes to be lied to, and the natural reaction is to call out the liar, but that's not always the smartest thing to do, especially in business. Before you do anything, ask yourself first, "What are the risks?", and you should carefully weigh the pros and cons beforehand. Take any action, he must know the lie and its implications for the company or the workplace Sometimes the animosity you avoid by remaining silent is worth more than the satisfaction you receive from speaking out, and other times the lie is serious enough that people should know it .
- Deviation with a sense of humor
Some lies are too big to ignore completely but they are too small to make much of them. When this happens you can always have a joke. Lighthearted comments acknowledging the lie usually do the trick, whether it's "Hey, I think I saw your nose grow a little bit," And others, and this strategy gives the liar an opportunity to admit his mistake without fear of retaliation, but the key to the success of this tactic is to give the impression that the other person was joking or deliberately exaggerating and never expects to be believed.
- Pretending to be stupid and knowing nothing
This is especially appropriate for group settings, in which you assume you have suddenly suffered from amnesia or are confused about the facts. Ask lots of follow-up questions. The more details you ask, the more likely the truth is to come out. The liar is then given a chance to admit he or she "misspoke" and correct. himself without being called a liar.
- Protect yourself from a liar
Whether you decide to tell a lie or let it go, once you know you are dealing with a liar it is imperative that you take steps to protect yourself, and one way to do this is to have a witness attest to what the liar said, and if that is not possible, interact with the liar via email or messages. Textual, both of which create a written record although if you're dealing with a particularly intelligent liar they won't commit to anything in writing, a phone call can be recorded or otherwise to prove it and protect yourself for any situation in which you have to defend yourself.
- face the liar
In situations where doing nothing is not a good option, you can call out the liar, but you just need to think about the best way to do it, and impulsively hitting them is never a smart move, as you may choose to have a conversation with the liar one-on-one or With others who are affected by the lie, in either case it is important that you have evidence to support your claim or you may be called a liar, just make sure that you are honest and direct with the person who lied, and you do not have to go to others with the lie when you know it is better to deal with The situation is particularly between you and the liar.
There are many times when telling a lie is the right thing to do both morally and practically, and sometimes not telling a lie can cost you your job. However, there are a few things you need to think about before taking this step. First you should She asks about your motives. Would you consider telling someone a lie out of concern that another employee or the company might get hurt, or are you just crazy? If that's the case then you risk making yourself petty. If the former stick to the facts and don't make any hypotheses about why the person is lying because that's just an assumption on your part. Stick to what the person said, the fact and any evidence you gathered.
- Putting all of the above together
Some people lie infrequently to make themselves look good or to protect themselves they have been doing it their entire career they are good at it and they have learned how to avoid getting caught this is why there is no single solution that works in every situation but the best you can do is think Carefully consider your options, and think about the pros and cons of each action you will take.
There are many of us who have been lied to by many people, as when you catch someone in a lie it becomes painful, then you feel that several feelings begin to appear inside you, including anger, shock, resentment, disappointment and sadness, then you see that you have been insulted and may go further From that to say that you feel violated, and it is a violation of your trust, as the practical and emotional justice that has accumulated between you and the perpetrator is of no value. When the person falls into that matter, he asks several questions that are difficult to answer, and the answers will differ from person to person.
But you have to realize that your friends and even your co-workers can lie to you, which is a hard fact to accept, but the real challenge lies in how you respond once you catch someone in the act, and although most people lie a lot, approximately two to three times In a ten-minute conversation, studies show, you can't tell they're lying as much as you think. Researchers from the University of California analyzed the results of 253 studies and found that we only caught half of the lies we were told (53% to be exact).
And when you catch someone lying to you, you have a disturbing feeling that you are being lied to, but you are not sure and do not want to appear as paranoid or accusatory, and at that time you wonder in your mind several questions, including, What do you do with lying? If you think someone is lying to you, would you call them out? Do you tell someone else? Or are you just going along with each other, but there are really many things you can do, and the right choice or combination depends on the situation.
But when meeting a situation like this you must first make sure you understand the rules before you decide which course of action to take, as if you are going to call out someone you need to know what you are getting yourself into, know how serious the consequences of lying are, and make sure you follow proper protocol To treat it, otherwise it may backfire on you, and you must follow several steps, namely:
- Do nothing and remain silent
No one likes to be lied to, and the natural reaction is to call out the liar, but that's not always the smartest thing to do, especially in business. Before you do anything, ask yourself first, "What are the risks?", and you should carefully weigh the pros and cons beforehand. Take any action, he must know the lie and its implications for the company or the workplace Sometimes the animosity you avoid by remaining silent is worth more than the satisfaction you receive from speaking out, and other times the lie is serious enough that people should know it .
- Deviation with a sense of humor
Some lies are too big to ignore completely but they are too small to make much of them. When this happens you can always have a joke. Lighthearted comments acknowledging the lie usually do the trick, whether it's "Hey, I think I saw your nose grow a little bit," And others, and this strategy gives the liar an opportunity to admit his mistake without fear of retaliation, but the key to the success of this tactic is to give the impression that the other person was joking or deliberately exaggerating and never expects to be believed.
- Pretending to be stupid and knowing nothing
This is especially appropriate for group settings, in which you assume you have suddenly suffered from amnesia or are confused about the facts. Ask lots of follow-up questions. The more details you ask, the more likely the truth is to come out. The liar is then given a chance to admit he or she "misspoke" and correct. himself without being called a liar.
- Protect yourself from a liar
Whether you decide to tell a lie or let it go, once you know you are dealing with a liar it is imperative that you take steps to protect yourself, and one way to do this is to have a witness attest to what the liar said, and if that is not possible, interact with the liar via email or messages. Textual, both of which create a written record although if you're dealing with a particularly intelligent liar they won't commit to anything in writing, a phone call can be recorded or otherwise to prove it and protect yourself for any situation in which you have to defend yourself.
- face the liar
In situations where doing nothing is not a good option, you can call out the liar, but you just need to think about the best way to do it, and impulsively hitting them is never a smart move, as you may choose to have a conversation with the liar one-on-one or With others who are affected by the lie, in either case it is important that you have evidence to support your claim or you may be called a liar, just make sure that you are honest and direct with the person who lied, and you do not have to go to others with the lie when you know it is better to deal with The situation is particularly between you and the liar.
There are many times when telling a lie is the right thing to do both morally and practically, and sometimes not telling a lie can cost you your job. However, there are a few things you need to think about before taking this step. First you should She asks about your motives. Would you consider telling someone a lie out of concern that another employee or the company might get hurt, or are you just crazy? If that's the case then you risk making yourself petty. If the former stick to the facts and don't make any hypotheses about why the person is lying because that's just an assumption on your part. Stick to what the person said, the fact and any evidence you gathered.
- Putting all of the above together
Some people lie infrequently to make themselves look good or to protect themselves they have been doing it their entire career they are good at it and they have learned how to avoid getting caught this is why there is no single solution that works in every situation but the best you can do is think Carefully consider your options, and think about the pros and cons of each action you will take.
What do you do before dealing with a liar?
Before you start planning the best way to combat lying, take a broader look at things, such as:
- Assess the situation and context
A lie is not told in complete isolation, as someone will have a reason to lie, even if those reasons may not seem very plausible, and as much as we may not like to admit it, we all lie pretty much every day of our lives, these lies The little white is unfortunate, but it's a general part of social interaction and getting to know someone. You can live your life with blunt, brutal honesty, but you may find this approach annoys some and pushes people away.
But these liars cannot be overlooked as mere social etiquette, so to know the best ways to respond to them we must first ask a number of questions such as (who lied?, Why, etc.), but this does not mean that there is always a malicious intent or reason, but also There is another type of lying that is not easy to overlook or tolerate.
- Know the reason for lying
Is it for self defense? Many people lie because they want to protect themselves from unpleasant situations or conflict. For example, young children lie to make sure they don't get into trouble and to avoid unpleasant consequences or punishment. Adults do the same, and many people lie because they know they did something that will make the other person angry, to escape punishment or to avoid a fight, as the person may not have done anything wrong but would rather not have to justify, explain or confront the angry spouse.
Or is it to avoid painful and bad feelings, as some people who lie often do so with good intentions, we call these “white lies” because they are lies that occur when a person wants to avoid causing pain to another person, for example a husband may lie to spare his wife feelings Sadness, or the father may lie to avoid the tears of a child, as she may wear a dress and say that it is wonderful when it is not, or that the child draws a bad drawing and the father tells her that she is beautiful so as not to cause her feelings of pain, or lies because of the desire not to reveal the secret, or to present A good image of something or a person, or even a loved one, can be a lie to manipulate others.
Before you start planning the best way to combat lying, take a broader look at things, such as:
- Assess the situation and context
A lie is not told in complete isolation, as someone will have a reason to lie, even if those reasons may not seem very plausible, and as much as we may not like to admit it, we all lie pretty much every day of our lives, these lies The little white is unfortunate, but it's a general part of social interaction and getting to know someone. You can live your life with blunt, brutal honesty, but you may find this approach annoys some and pushes people away.
But these liars cannot be overlooked as mere social etiquette, so to know the best ways to respond to them we must first ask a number of questions such as (who lied?, Why, etc.), but this does not mean that there is always a malicious intent or reason, but also There is another type of lying that is not easy to overlook or tolerate.
- Know the reason for lying
Is it for self defense? Many people lie because they want to protect themselves from unpleasant situations or conflict. For example, young children lie to make sure they don't get into trouble and to avoid unpleasant consequences or punishment. Adults do the same, and many people lie because they know they did something that will make the other person angry, to escape punishment or to avoid a fight, as the person may not have done anything wrong but would rather not have to justify, explain or confront the angry spouse.
Or is it to avoid painful and bad feelings, as some people who lie often do so with good intentions, we call these “white lies” because they are lies that occur when a person wants to avoid causing pain to another person, for example a husband may lie to spare his wife feelings Sadness, or the father may lie to avoid the tears of a child, as she may wear a dress and say that it is wonderful when it is not, or that the child draws a bad drawing and the father tells her that she is beautiful so as not to cause her feelings of pain, or lies because of the desire not to reveal the secret, or to present A good image of something or a person, or even a loved one, can be a lie to manipulate others.
How to deal with a liar lover and deceiver
- Find out how he deceives you.
- Make sure you cheat before you do anything.
- Try to find the root of the problem.
- Decide if you want to leave or talk to the cheating person or partner.
- Connect with your cheating lover.
- Get professional help to solve this problem.
- Seek support and help from people you love and trust.
- Don't let that get in the way of the future.
- Find out how he deceives you.
- Make sure you cheat before you do anything.
- Try to find the root of the problem.
- Decide if you want to leave or talk to the cheating person or partner.
- Connect with your cheating lover.
- Get professional help to solve this problem.
- Seek support and help from people you love and trust.
- Don't let that get in the way of the future.
Signs of a lying person
- People who lie tend to change their head position quickly.
- Their breathing can also change.
- They tend to stand very still.
- They may repeat words or phrases.
- They can provide a lot of information.
- They may touch or cover their mouth or face.
- They may tend to cover vulnerable parts of the body.
- They tend to shuffle their feet.
- They stumble a lot in their speech.
- He stars at you without blinking too much.
- People who lie tend to change their head position quickly.
- Their breathing can also change.
- They tend to stand very still.
- They may repeat words or phrases.
- They can provide a lot of information.
- They may touch or cover their mouth or face.
- They may tend to cover vulnerable parts of the body.
- They tend to shuffle their feet.
- They stumble a lot in their speech.
- He stars at you without blinking too much.